Boundaries
"YOGA DOES NOT ASK YOU TO BE MORE THAN YOU ARE. BUT IT DOES ASK YOU TO BE ALL THAT YOU ARE" ~BRYAN KEST~
As I find myself in a state of vulnerability, I am present within my body and alongside it. It is still working to release some tension and pent-up anger and sadness. Yesterday was incredibly hectic, but not in the way of rushing through shops or ticking off a long list of chores. Instead, it involved an emotionally turbulent realization. During our healing paths, particularly with generational healing, which demands significant effort, resilience, and commitment; it can occasionally seem overwhelming. At times, reverting to familiar patterns and co-dependent relationships might feel like the simpler choice.
But what makes that choice seem simpler? It's because it feels safer. Yesterday, I found myself in tears, not just a few quiet drops, but rather an overwhelming and loud release. From my experience, establishing boundaries with family members is often one of the toughest challenges; let me rephrase, while setting a boundary can be relatively straightforward for anyone, the true struggle lies in firmly standing by that boundary and continuing on a path of genuine healing. I know that maintaining such a boundary might mean risking relationships with that family member. Therefore, it becomes easier to suppress whatever resonates within you and revert to familiar patterns passed down through generations; the conflicts, grievances, and disappointments; I wonder is it because we cherish our families and fear losing them. Nevertheless, after about an hour of crying yesterday, I chose to take a shower to help ease the tension in my body.
It then struck me what I had learned in my somatic courses regarding the perception of boundaries. Understanding that it was essential for me to safeguard my mental and emotional well-being, I returned to this technique.
The idea of somatic sense of boundaries: When your boundaries are being tested, start by paying attention to your breathing, place one hand over your heart and the other on your abdomen, and reflect on how "yes" feels in your body versus how "no" feels physically.
What sensations arise in my body when I experience a violation?
What is it like when I am taken to my breaking point?
I went into my journal and provided my responses to these questions. Realizing that I required additional time to connect with my body and engage with the sensations, allowing myself to recognize and explore them, I proceeded with my boundary practice:
Take a seat or lie down in a quiet environment where you can concentrate without distractions.
Observe the feelings present within your body. You may choose to scan from head to toe or hone in on specific areas with stronger sensations. As you become aware of the sensations, say them either aloud or in a whisper to yourself.
Select five of these sensations and reflect on the following questions:
Do they feel more tight or more at ease?
Are they sharp or tangled?
Is there a sense of heaviness or lightness associated with them?
This method proves to be beneficial for ensuring personal accountability. It allows you to understand your limits by listening to what your body communicates and aids in eliminating any uncertainty regarding those boundaries.
I share this with you because I aim to assist others through practices such as yoga, somatic healing exercises, energy work, and more. These methods have significantly supported me on my path of living with TBI while also addressing trauma and family dynamics. These practices have genuinely helped me reconnect with my true self by establishing boundaries that stem from genuine love for both myself and those around me, rather than out of fear of losing relationships or being isolated.
Additionally, I will be conducting a Nervous System Reset workshop at Hubbard Hall in Cambridge, NY, as part of their wellness month festivities. You can register for the event here: https://hubbardhall.app.neoncrm.com/.../eventRegistration...
Be sure to take a look at my book, "Invisible: Finding Purpose and Spiritual Awakening After The Storm of Traumatic Brain Injury," where you can learn more about my healing journey and my experiences living with TBI. innerpeacepress.com/products/invisible